I'm a wiener (Alt title: The Coffee Finally Gave Back)

Hello there blogger friendlies.

I feel like a sleazy guy, I'm trying to think of places to pick up women....I've decided I need more lady friends. I tried some on recently, I really enjoyed our girl's nights. However more then a few of them turned out to be not so great friendlies, so the search continues. Any suggestions?

On a lighter note, check this shiz out.

As a result of my office wenching I was offered a special code *pause for mysterious music*, it was from green mountain coffee (cafe escapes) for the Keurig, which BTW, are the bomb baby. So I set up my little account (which was way to the easy, no passwords to remember or anything). Then every day I diligently, ok ok maybe not every day, but pretty often I logged on. I would enter my email address then match up coffee cups bejeweled style. I'd play for my required time limit then press the 'see if you've won a prize' button, all while thinking to myself "yea, right. No one ever wins these things".

Well guess what?. . . . Come on I've made it easy........

I've won a prize. How freaking fantabulous is that.

I should be receiving my spafinder.com gift certificate within the next few weeks.

Now I just need to decide what to spend it on??? Massage, hair, nails, waxing <---ouch!

This made me think back a few years, my mother won a trip for two to London from the wheel of fortunes wheel watchers club. She took yours truly. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I doubt the waxing will live up to that, but it is still pretty fucking awesome.

So tell me blogger friendlies, have you ever won anything? Surely something. Share with us.

Winners are awesome.
I'm a wiener *cheesy smile*

~*~ Toodles ~*~

Letter to a Fellow Facebooker and Possibly Archnemesis

In my opinion, and I have known to have been wrong in my opinions, the facebook is for status updates. You know, like this --> _____ is hanging out at the mall with ____ & _____. Or 'look, here is a picture of my incredibly cute child. Look at it now!'

Dear fellow facebooker,

Just a few things I'd like to discuss.

1. If you feel the need to delete a friend because of their incessant dribble they post, just do it. There is no need to post a page long explanation, to the rest of your friends list, seeing as how the deleted party won't even see it as they have been, well, deleted. You are subjecting us to your bitching and complaining about their bitching and complaining. At least when you're deleted you should understand why.

2. There is no facebook god. If there was, it most assuredly would not be you. Get over it, stop complaining about every single 'friend' you have and their posts.

3. I love, love, love how you think you are a rocket scientist because you know the difference between your/you're and their/they're/there. Knowing this does not mean you're a genius, it means you went to grade school and retained some general grammar lessons. If I see one more post about your friends lack of spelling abilities I'll.... well I probably won't do anything because I'm too nosey to delete you. But still, it is shitting annoying.

4. One last thing, I feel I need to point out. You frequently write your little diatribes about people and it is very obvious who you're talking about. You are also sure to note on each and every post that you are a strong willed individual who has no problem expressing you feelings directly to said person's face. Well a little while ago you went off on a rant. It was quite clear that is was regarding me, I believe you even voiced this to at least three people (all of whom felt the need to inform me). I confronted you, and what did you do, you denied it. You are not a strong willed person! You are a weak bitch who hides behind her facebook posts and try to belittle everyone who knows you. Grow up, or better yet, shut up!

In short, quit bitching (and being a bitch) on facebook, that is what a blog is for (well mine anyway). Friends and family members already know the type of person you are, they do not need to see it through your posts every hour (literally).

P.S. I know you won't see this, but I still feel better about life.

P.S.S. You are not a photographer, you bought a $150 camera and your friend made you a newborn outfit. Telling perspective clients you have a 'studio' (your daughter's bedroom) and props is false advertisement. Also, if it is not in fact photoshop, don't call it that!

P.S.S.S. I really detest you. In case you missed that.

~*~ Toodles ~*~

Tourniquet

I have created a tourniquet around my emotions!

The Husbinator and I have had our share of issues in the past. I like to think I am not one to hold on to things, but I might be. I can't tell if I am still holding onto things that happened in the past or if I actually changed myself because of them. My best guess would be that I changed myself because I don't actually think about being uncaring or distant it just happens.

The Husbinator has always had trouble showing the affections and emotions I wanted to be presented with. I think I finally gave up wanting him to be more romantic and just stooped to his lack of romance/sympathy level myself.

He texted me today, he thought he had a kidney stone. I suggested he go to the doctor because he says he has them A LOT. Apparently this was not the wifely thing to say, I should have been all...."Oh my poor baby, let me coodle you and make it better. My wittle snoooky pooo tell me where it hurts". I was at work, this was through a text. Now I'm not supportive enough. Regardless of what it is that ails him, colds, body aches, kidney stones, I, according to him act like I don't care.

Now I whole heartedly believe that I should treat him how I want to be treated. But, I just can't do it. I keep thinking about how he treats me. It doesn't matter if I'm sick, life goes on. He acts like he doesn't notice.

But the thing that is STUCK IN MY BRAIN BOX, and making it so fucking hard to be nice is this:

Flashback to May:

The Babynator is one month old. I am dying (Having a gallbladder attack), the Husbinator is mad at me because I didn't go to Urgent Care and get painkillers earlier (When I didn't have any symptoms, he doesn't see the issue with walking in a Urgent Care clinic and saying "hey, I get pains sometimes. No, I don't have them now, give me some narcotics anyway". So my sister-in-law comes and takes me to the ER, I spend 5 hours there. Right before they discharge me at 5am they give me morphine (protocol even though the attack is over and I feel fine) I go home. Lay down, and less then an hour later Babynator is up. I ask the Husbinator if he can take care of him while I sleep. NO, that's what he said. In a much nastier tone with a few other choice words. I cried, he got up, we fought. I didn't help the situation, I'm sure. I was high on Morphine for Christ's sake.

Its shit like that, that has ruined me. Sometimes I think I should be alone. There isn't anyone making me want to leave or anything like that. I just don't know what to do. I'm sure if I was alone I would miss the Husbinator........wouldn't I?

My Brand of Heroin.....verses my brothers brand

Hello there invisible blogger friendlies *waving*, you are there right? *sigh*

So yea........

The Twilight marathon was ok. Don't get me wrong Breaking Dawn was awesome, the best one yet by far. My ass just kept falling asleep during the other five-thousand hours of the Twilight. Now to make my nerd-o-meter go up a LOT, I've currently seen Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 three, yes you heard me right, three times. Once with my Heroin addicted brother and his thriteen year old daughter.

Oh, I'm sorry did I not tell you that my parentals decided to bring my drug ridden brother to my house for Thanksgiving. It was eventful, such as the time he open my car door while I was doing SIXTY then proceeded to jump out when I slammed on the brakes and dissapeared for several hours (now mind you he has never been to this state, doesn't know anyone and had no clue how to get back to my house). Needless to say their visit was cut short, I just couldn't handle that being in my house around the kid.

The weightloss/diet/healthyness thing is going good, I find I do better if I don't think about losing weight. I can't tell you how much wieght I have lost so far or how long I've been doing what. But I can say: I hardley ever drink anything that isn't water, I can run on the treadmill now (wasn't able to before) I can run up and down the stairs at work without lossing my breath. Over all so far I look and feel healthier. I started looking at calories, whoa! did you know that IHOP has a breakfast meal that has 1,990 calories in it. Holy fucksticks!

This is my update post! I will be posting something else in a bit (*gasp* two in one day) I felt it deserved its own post.

Till then friendlies

~*~Toodles~*~

I Will Probably Resemble a Zombie on Friday

Hello invisible audience *frantic waiving*

I have so many things to post about, such as:

My "skinny plan", although I have not acted on most of the rules I have set for myself like getting off my ass and exercising I have modified the way I look at food and the things I shovel into my face.

Then there is the I told you so factor of my youngest sister-in-law's relationship, in which her boyfriend/fiance/ex/who knows what the fuck she calls him now, is the current father to be of his underage mistresses love child.

Plus much more.

But, all I can wrap my nerdy little mind around right now is that fact that tomorrow afternoon/evening/dead of night I will be sitting on my fluffy ass in a darkened movie theater watching 10+ hours of sparkly vampire deliciousness.

Yes I am one of those people, although I must throw out my defenses....I loved the books before the movies were even thought of. I read Twilight when it was newly released, I then waited eagerly each following year for the release of the other three books. I have to say the very first time I saw Twilight 'the movie' I was disappointed, I hated it, what the shitbox were they thinking. But then I went back to the theater and saw it again, and again. Finally it started to grow on me, of course with the increase in budget the next two were substantially better.

So starting at 4pm tomorrow I will be attending a marathon. All three movies plus the new premier back to back. All for a whooping $20 <--I know right, what a freaking steal.

A movie, "meh" *shoulder shrug* you may say, "big deal" *eye roll* you may say. But there is more, for these 10+ blissful hours I will be OFF BABY DUTY!!!! (Insert appreciative nods from the parents in the audience here) Please take a minute if you will to compare schedule A & B below and tell me what you would rather do.

Schedule A (Normal Thursday/Daily routine)
between 5am and 6am - awoken by the kid. (who most likely is pissy because he flipped himself over and now resembles a turtle who is stuck)
6am - diaper kid, dress kid, feed kid, shower, get dressed, put daycare bag together, play with kid.
7:20am - leave house, fight with garage door opener that doesn't work but I haven't fixed yet, take kid to daycare, get him settled in, go to work.
7:50am-5pm - Slave labor, I mean work.
5:15pm - pick up kid, be friendly with other parents/teachers, go home
5:45pm-8pm -feed kid messy kid food, eat/cook (sometimes husbinator does the cooking), play with kid, clean, wash crap, wash kid, feed kid bottle, wash bottles, put kid to bed
8pm-9 or 10pm - try to work in some reading (almost done the last HP book), engage in the sex with husbinator, pass out
sometime between when my brain falls asleep and 3am - be woken up by the teething kid!

Schedule B (Tomorrow)
between 5am and 6am - awoken by the kid. (who is most likely pissy because he flipped himself over and now resembles a turtle who is stuck)
6am - diaper kid, dress kid, feed kid, shower, get dressed, put daycare bag together, play with kid.
7:20am - leave house, fight with garage door opened that is still a piece of shit tomorrow even though i could have fixed it tonight, take kid to daycare, get him settled in, go to work.
7:50am-2:59pm - occupy my desk.
3pm - Insert ass into comfy pants and head to theater.
4pm - settle in and enjoy 10+ hours of movies/junk food/other crap I shouldn't shove in my face.
2:30am-3am ish - Hopefully miss the teething wake-up, go home and sleep

the bad part - waking up at 5am and going to work on Friday.

~*~Toodles~*~

Chocolatey Burps Make it Better.

Fat girl update:

I'm still, well, fluffier then preferred.

The only exercise I have done is running after Tes when she got out of the back yard last week.

I just had lunch, a 1/4lb burger, large fry, large coke.

AND.....since I was being bad, I thought I would follow through correctly. I followed it up with a cup of chocolate ice-cream.

I make myself sick, but the ice-cream burps are helping. You know what I mean, your like *burp* hmmmm chocolatey, I'm sure glad I had that ice-cream otherwise that would have tasted like onion/burger!

You'll Pay Me How Much! For Doing What!

Hello there blogger friendlies,

I think my keyboard is dying of old age, I tend to hang on to things to long because I'm comfortable with them instead of upgrading. Like my office chair (it is literally falling apart, but its so effing comfy), or my previous cell phone (whenever it would ring, my co-worker would let me know by saying "H your brick is ringing". In conclusion, there may be a few more typographical errors than normal in this post.

Just to touch base regarding my previous post...it is going as expected, meaning, I have yet to climb on my treadmill and move a single muscle (BUT, I did clean all the clothes off of it and I'm no longer using it as a hamper. Progress, people, progress.)

On another note, my best friend has developed a lady-friend. Don't get me wrong, I like her quite a bit, she appears to be very similar to me (brass, rude, crude, funny, etc.) and I'm pretty sure she likes me, after of course she had been reassured (numerous times) that the bestie and I were never lovers and are more like siblings. So far it has not interfered with our friendy-ship, but I expect him to devote more time to her as things progress so I have decided to start hanging out with/meeting more lady-friends. I am planning a Halloween event next month, it should be a blasty-blast. Everyone is to bring a pumpkin (to be massacred) and a white tea cup (to be read). Anyway, we had talked about getting together sometime before then, but hadn't made any plans yet. Yesterday one of the ladies invited me over tonight for some movie-fun along with a couple of the other ladies. Now, I'm sure you have noticed, aside from the procrastinating of the exercise, I am pretty AR (Anal Retentive). I enjoy planning, my desk is organized, everything in my home/ENTIRE office has a place/file/drawer/label, so last minute planning jumps my nerves, the husbinator assures me I should go instead of staying home and being anti-social. But how I ask you, HOW am I supposed to miss the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Holy cow-cakes batman, its McSteamy for Christ's sake. I guess I'll just have to hulu it tomorrow after work.

Speaking of work.....

To touch on a subject previously mentioned. I had asked for a raise AGAIN, going on three and a half years here people. I informed little boss-man that I would be pursuing another career/going in a different direction/leaving their asses if my request was meet yet again with a denial. I doubt he took me seriously.

A side note here, I have under taken numerous new responsibilities in the last three and a half years all with excellent outcomes, never a error and also, never a reward. In short I was fed-up!

So I had been loosely applying to new positions in my spare time. Well last week I got a call back, it was for a front desk position at a architect firm downtown, this would put it closer to my house. I happened to have a Dr. appt on Wed morning so I scheduled an interview for directly after. I arrived early, met with the office manager/accountant/hiring lady and one of the lead architects. We were lax, we bull-shitted, they loved me. I work in engineering and have previous experience working with one of their leading competitors. They wanted me, I had an offer in my inbox before I started my car.

Their offer was good, excellent considering I would be sitting on my ass at a desk solely with the purpose of sorting the daily mail, answering the phone, and booking domestic flights (I book international baby! I was beyond qualified.) They were offering me almost $4,500k more than I was making, I would be trading the five-ish different positions I was currently holding for one half assed one where I would be getting paid more.

Oh, of course I had to give the big boss-man a chance, I called him. It was a bad time, the general manager and operations manager of our shop had just quit (some of their responsibilities happened to have fallen to me) I explained I had been requesting a raise and hadn't received one for three and a half years, he acted shocked. According to him he had no knowledge of this and was thoroughly miffed. The call lasted less then five minutes, he offered $5,500k more then I was currently making. The new company couldn't negotiate any further so my decision was made.

During the call I also mentioned that he should investigate to see when a couple of the guys last received raises (I was privy to the fact that a couple of them hadn't for almost as long as me), I ended up getting most of the office a raise.

Now for the cherry on top of this Delicious cupcake. Our shop has an office manager, he is, how shall I put this, lets go with not exactly cut out for the job. But still, he makes more then I do. Once news traveled to the little boss-man and the now-not-so-evil-hag I work with they were very concerned. As the now-not-so-evil-hag does most of the accounting, she is privy to our salaries and was the one the big boss-man had charged with making the raises happen. I overheard her (she talks super fricken loud on the phone) telling the big boss-man that the salary difference between the office manager of the shop and myself was bothering her, and in order to keep me she thought they should offer me more. I was floored, I had been convinced she disliked me, I guess I was wrong, or perhaps she just didn't want to do her own filing or be in charge of some of the shit I do.

In the end, I received almost a $7,500 raise. Wooooo-who, go me!!!

Now, the big boss-man has come back to town for the week, thanks to some illegally procured and signature forged meds (more on that later, maybe) he was a little relaxed today. He has his i-tunes going, he keeps switching between the Spanish radio/way to happy station and Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight, over and over and over and, you get the point. It is most defiantly not at a volume that is work appropriate, if you were to call me I would have to YELL FOR YOU TO HEAR ME!
....I think this is my punishment for thinking about leaving.
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Help me.....


~*~Toodles~*~