Knocked.....Down

My husband and I have been together for seven years. We have been having sex for seven years, on an almost daily bases. four of those years have been unprotected bonking. I'm not pregnant, and I don't have any kids. It seems I cannot get pregnant. At first it wasn't a big deal we were younger and really only thought about not having to use condoms assuming it would happen eventually. It didn't! We really starting wanting to get pregnant about a year and a half ago. plenty of doctors visits in between we have decided if I did get pregnant it would be after hundreds of dollars in infertility treatment.

Last night my sister-in-law who is younger, in a very unstable relationship and neither her nor her boyfriend work called to tell me she is pregnant AGAIN. It is so unfair. We have good stable jobs, we have been married for five years, we have a house with an extra room just waiting for a baby. Why can she and every other little teenage girl out there get knocked up but I can't. I mean really I know people who can get pregnant just by saying the word fuck.

My husband loves kids and whenever there is a baby or child around he always ends up playing with them. I know he wants a baby as bad as I do, but what if that can never happen from my end? Is that reason enough to end us? He says its not but I have my doubts.

I feel like a failure, my baby baking bits are not working right. Its like a easy bake oven without a light bulb (Yea, I totally pulled out a metaphor) My husband says don't worry about it we are still young and it will happen eventually. He doesn't understand its not his problem that is keeping us from doing it, its mine. If I just knew that one day I would get pregnant and have a baby I wouldn't worry about it. But I don't for all I know it will never happen. And that is what eats at me the most, not knowing!