Weekly recap: I call my snake George / Lady bits from the year of our lord 1532 / men in tights doing splits

Weekly recap!!!! Ok there's really only two days that were exciting so its more like a quarter weekly recap. But still worth a read.


Thursday:

Kayso the new pup is still driving me fucking insane with this whining shit, and of course the husbnator has not keep up with his part of the bargain (thus being him taking care of her and letting her out in the morning.) So being the best, most loving, beautiful, piled with awesomeness wife that I am (and the fact that he shoves me out of bed and growls 'get the dog') it has been up to me to take her out at dark' thirty almost every morning. Now don't get me all wrong there has been the rare occasion where he took care of this, but last Thursday was not one of them.

So after being violently shoved out of bed and growled at YET AGAIN, I grab my robe which was laying on the floor next to the bed (remember this it is important) I go let the whiny bastard out then have a sit down and read for a bit before work. When I finally decide I should get dressed for work the husbnator is already gone and I am alone with the dogs, hamster and fish. I make my way into the bedroom and notice I've strewn a bra on the floor (this is about a foot away from where the robe I am wearing at this point was this morning) so I pick up the bra . . . and . . . annnnnd . . . ANNNNND a fucking snake slithers out towards me. So I do the logical thing and scream. Once I'm done I grab a cup and put the snake in it. How did it fit you ask, It was a baby garter snake and only about 7 or 8 inches long. It was kind of cute actually so I put a lid (complete with breathing holes) on the cup and started calling him George.

Now don't get me wrong I totally had the 'if its a baby where are its brothers and sisters or worse its MOTHER at?' freak out, but then I got over it and went to work. I took George with me because I was planning on letting him go and wanted it to be far away from my house. At first I was planning Victoria Secret based on where I found him, but figured since I'm finally allowed back in the mall I didn't want to chance it so I settled on the field by my office.

So there is this guy I work with who is afraid of snakes, and of course being the special person that I am I wanted to show him what I had found. I met him outside of his office lifted the clear cup up so he had a GREAT view *Insert screams equivalent of a seven year old child instead of a thirty-six year old man here* once he got done with his scream-fest he ran into his office, slammed and locked the door (cause we all know how crafty those snakes are with door knobs, wouldn't want him getting in.)

Anyway I let George go to a nice little field by my work full of (I am assuming here) field mice. Eventually later in the afternoon my co-worked finally emerged from his office, a little shaky and hoarse from the screaming but no worse for the wear.

Saturday:

I went to the Renaissance festival with the husbnator (he went of his own free will people.) Had tons of fun met an awesome couple who were acrobats (think Gypsy carny folk moving from town to town eating fire, yea they were that cool) I want to be a Gypsy Acrobat.

I got to see tons of old people with their man flab hanging out of period garb and lady bits being squeezed out of corsets (a few less pounds and next year that will be me barely breathing behind fabric and metal.) I thoroughly enjoyed it though. I am addicted to period clothing/re-enacting (you should have seen me in London, I was a second away from geeing all over myself almost the whole time.)

After the fair I went with my oldest sister-in-law to dinner and to see Carmina Burana at the performing arts center. Somehow she managed to score literally the best seats in the house for frizee. This was not my first ballet and I'm sure you figured out how high up I am on the nerd-alert meter by now so naturally I loved it. My sister-in-law on the other hand, we were popping her ballet cherry and I thought she was going into a coma based on the amount of drool she was exuding. She did however perk up once the male dancers came out topless in all their muscular glory. I think I still have a bruise from her elbowing me. I must say one of them was very well ummm gifted in the tight area if you catch my drift (In case my drift escapes you fine fellows I meant 'he had a raging huge cock'). If you are a fan of the performing arts I highly recommend going to see Carmina Burana, hey you might even be lucky and see a well hung dancer!

The rest of my week was pretty repetitive and boring except for when my vacuum blew up do to over exposure to my hair. A hour later, a inch thick layer of vacuum dust/gross particles and two Walmart sacks full of hair the husbnator had it fixed.

On a completely different side note. I think I may have mentally/verbally (to the ballet loving sister-in-law) committed myself to getting a Brazilian wax. When this happens you will most definitely hear some things you could probably due without.

Till later hommies.

Toodles!